Calm the chaos to create better relationships with your emotions & the people in your life.

This subscription is for you if:



  • Your emotions are getting in the way of you having the relationships and life that you want;
  • You are avoiding important things because you're afraid that you'll get overwhelmed and make everything worse; 
  • Your relationships are suffering because it is really hard to contain your emotions in conflict, or because you shut down; 
  • You're getting jerked around by emotional urges or thoughts and want to have more choice about how you behave.


If you're a quirky queer or cultural renegade the chances are you've had a hard time finding support to create the relationships you want


It can be really hard to know whether a particular therapist or skills group will be appropriate for us, especially when we live queer lives. These skills help everyone to regulate their emotions and relationships more effectively, but this subscription will center quirky queers and cultural renegades and their closest people. This means it is especially helpful for you if you're: 


  • in queer relationships*

  • finding consensual non monogamy or BDSM is intensifying your emotions or bringing up new issues in your relationship

  • hoping to build skills with your family of choice, not exclusively romantic or sexual partners

  • doing work that makes relationships tricky to navigate sometimes and you're looking for a space where you won't be judged for doing sex work or being a performer

This subscription is all about learning skills to help you build your relationships with your emotions and the people in your life. We will teach skills primarily from Dialectal Behavior Therapy, but also Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Emotional Efficacy Therapy, to help you create more ways to thrive. We understand that out of control emotions and conflict filled relationships are often the result of a mix of biological, psychological and social factors (find out more here). We teach skills that can, with practice, change your brain, your relationship to your emotions and increase the choices you have available. You'll get insight into patterns that create conflict in your relationships and communication tools to help you get what you want more often & build your relationship. Many people experience these skills as increasing their freedom, self trust and connection to their closest people.



Once a month you will get access to a new lesson which will include a workbook to take you through the skill as well as videos, MP3s or other resources to help you learn. You'll be invited to join the live class too! You will be welcomed into our Slack community & invited to ask questions & support others working on the same things that you are. 

“I have found ways to cope and been encouraged to use them as and when I’m up for it, long term. I feel like I can work with my traits that I used to think of as negative/ want to avoid.” 
Jade

This subscription is for you if:

  • You want ongoing support and encouragement to learn skills that help you build the life YOU want.
  • You want to befriend your emotions & understand what they are communicating.
  • You want to learn to cope with intense emotional experiences without making things worse.
  • You want to learn to accept uncomfortable emotional experiences and to change unwanted emotions.
  • You want to learn how to communicate what you want more effectively. 
  • Want to learn with other quirky queers and cultural renegades and their closest people.
  • You're motivated to learn new skills and put them into practice in your life.
  • You feel able to put learning into practice without needing to have homework assignments checked.
  • You're willing to try out new ideas!

This subscription is NOT for you if:

  • You're currently in crisis & need more intensive support.
  • You want a more traditional DBT group with more formal homework checking & accountability. 
  • You want to suppress or ignore your emotions & think that is always the best way to deal with emotions.
  • You aren't a quirky queer or cultural renegade, or doing the course with someone that fits that description.
  • You don't want to put the work into learning and practicing new skills.
  • You already have a deep and thorough understanding of your emotions and how to change them when needed.
  • You don't want to try new things that may make you feel a little uncomfortable sometimes.
"I was really surprised to feel more comfortable than I have in any kind of therapy setting I’ve ever been in. I’ve been able to be really open and bring my full self to the skills group and I feel really very grateful for that."
Gray

Who we are at Love Uncommon


Love Uncommon was founded by Dr Sophia Graham who is a sex and relationship geek trained in counselling, DBT & teaching. Sophia works with other peer educators, coaches and therapists to provide courses on emotion regulation, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness and self consent.


Most of Love Uncommon's courses are intensive 2-hour a week commitments for 7-10 weeks. These include lots of time for assigning practice exercises and reviewing them. The subscription service is for folks wanting a longer term commitment to help keep up practice without weekly follow up for the homework. 


At Love Uncommon our courses center quirky queers and cultural renegades. This means we often work with folks outside of the sexuality, gender and relationship mainstream. We take a rights not rescue approach to sex work; believe trans women are women, trans men are men and that non binary people aren't (men or women that is). We think platonic, romantic and sexual relationships all matter & that folks can have healthy relationships with or without them being monogamous (or vanilla for that matter). 

This is what we will be covering!



May - Centering consent in relationships

Moving away from objective-based relating and towards consent based relating. 

June - Physical and containing boundaries

Explore the boundaries surrounding our bodies and how we express ourselves. Sometimes we don't realise that having boundaries around how much of ourselves we share with the world. Containing boundaries can help us feel safer and more able to choose how we respond when hard things happen.

July - Psychological and executed boundaries

Discover how psychological boundaries help us manage and cope with unwanted emotional input. Learn how to execute boundaries interpersonally. 

August - Building new relationships - similarities & time

This lesson is all about how to make friends - based on academic research! Learn two of the key ingredients for building new relationships. 



September – Strengthening relationships - admiration & appreciation

How do we strengthen relationships? Building in appreciation and admiration, even when times are hard. 

October – Rupture and repair

What is a pinch, what is a crunch, and how can we repair relationships after a rupture?

November –Self-regulation and co-regulation

How do we regulate on our own and with people we love. What skills do we need to build to do both effectively?

December – Rebuilding trust with neutral to positive experiences

How do we operate in relationships when times are hard? Building more neutral to positive experiences even when everything isn't going well.


Addressing financial barriers

At LoveUncommon, we strive to make our courses financially accessible to those who need them. We appreciate it when folks can pay the full price of the course because it helps us to continue doing our work, but we can offer some low-cost spaces for folks who need them. If you are BIPOC or a member of the global majority, you can use code GM75 to access the lowest-cost spaces. If you are struggling to support yourself and in financial distress, I have three places for folks using code "low70" for 70% off the course cost. I have an additional 3 spots for code "low 60" for 60% off and "low 50" for 50% off. If you are on a low income but not in financial distress, you can use code "low40" to get 40% off. 

Join us!

 £40, €45, $50 a month

    • Live classes on the third Wednesday of the month at 2pm EST & 7pm UK/EIRE.
    • Workbooks, videos, and podcasts to support your learning.
    • A group of other quirky queers and cultural renegades & their closest people to learn alongside you.
    • Skills that give you more choices and control in your life

Sign up now!

“The skills classes gave me a lot of useable tools and skills with an emphasis on progressive learning and adapting things to different situations I was in to meet my needs.”
Robin
* By queer relationships, I do not mean only same sex relationships. If someone in the relationship is queer then I understand the relationship itself to be queer too. Bisexual and pansexual people are welcome to join the course and their closest people are also welcome irrespective of their queerness so long as they are willing to join a group that centers quirky queers and cultural renegades.